Avery’s Bucket List

Spring flowers

Today I learned about a little girl named Avery, who has spinal muscular atrophy. She was diagnosed with this when she was five months old. Her parents have created a blog called Avery’s Bucket List to share her adventures and her life with her family.

The blog is written from Avery’s perspective; her parents have created a bucket list of things they want Avery to experience in the 18 months she is expected to live. One of the things Avery’s mom and dad want to do is to educate others about SMA. Take time to visit Avery’s Bucket List. Avery’s Bucket List can also be found on Facebook and Twitter.

I Choose Love 2

Check out this wonderful video about choosing love in our lives. This youtube video is from Shawn Gallaway,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMOMgQCRAqM

Healing With Time Part Three: Heal Your Heart a Step at a Time

Finding a Way to Heal Your Heart Takes Time

Love

Trishhhh Flickr

Honestly, it takes allowing yourself to feel the hurt, the anger and the pain of your grief. The relationship is gone but, the grief takes time. You can only move forward when you’ve faced what you are feeling. The way to heal your heart is to look inside and examine what you’re heart and head are feeling. It sucks, I know. I’ve been there, a few times. Most recently two years ago this April.

Heal your Heart a Step at a Time
It was a long road of healing for me. You can read a couple of my previous posts detailing my experiences. What I can say with honesty is that with time you will heal your heart and be happy again.

I’m Happy Again
I’m now happy and looking forward to new life experiences, love and travel. It took time. I’m not going to sugar coat it. For the first year or more I couldn’t even consider dating. Now in the last few months I’ve begun to think I’d like to meet someone and embrace the joy of a relationship. So trust that you can heal your heart, I did.

Heal Your Heart in Small Steps, as You are Ready
There were tears, though fewer than I imagined. I was shell shocked for a long time and then I was angry.There was a lot of anger. There was deep loneliness and there was grief; grief at the loss of what I felt we had shared and built.

The Grief Takes Time
Expect your grieving to take time. You don’t heal a broken heart in a few weeks. Allow yourself time to process what has happened. My grief was particularly deep over the loss of a family. You see I had grown to love his two teenage children. His family had become mine too. I still love them and fortunately they still bless my life with their presence and love. Our relationship remains strong and intact. That is a blessing and a gift.

You Can’t Fake It
Children and teens know your heart. You aren’t going to bullshit them. They’ll see right through it. If you treat them right and you love them, they see it and they’ll feel it. I’m grateful for the relationships we three have built and I make it priority to maintain the relationships with love.

Heal Your Heart as You are Ready
Don’t rush, don’t fret that you should be over it, give yourself time. Honestly though I miss the closeness and comradarie of a relationship I knew I wasn’t ready for another yet. I’m not the type to hop from ship to ship on a journey. I’d rather enjoy one ship and savor it.

A New Beginning
I’m a woman in the prime of my life (40’s). I’d love to be having great sex right now. Yet, I want the closeness of sharing it with someone I care deeply about. For now I focus on adventures, travel and building my writing career. If you are working to heal your heart I recommend you take it slow. Be mindful of where your head is and the state of your heart. You want to heal; not create further gushing wounds.

You Will be Happy
Happiness is a state of mind, you will be happy again, if you choose to be. It’s your life, you can make it anything you want it to be. Being single offers you new options. For me it offers opportunities to travel and explore the world. I didn’t expect to do it alone again in my 40’s but I’m not sitting at home on the couch waiting for my life to start. I’m embracing it and I’m planning a journey to live abroad. Where better to enjoy life and love than another country where you can embrace life in another culture.

The Irony of Healing

Our Experiences Can Overwhelm Us
There are times when our experiences overwhelm us. When what we face and experience feels like more than we can handle.  A couple weeks ago I had a strong feeling to write about the healing that had taken place for me this past year after the end of my relationship.  When I wrote my previous post  spirit gave me about two good hours to soak up a feeling of having really made progress in my healing and then WHAM, I got slammed with another wave of loss and pain.

Stunned
I was stunned to learn this man, who I had loved, had married the previous day. He didn’t even have  enough respect for me to tell me himself. Does that surprise me? Yes and no. Yes, because I expected  more from a man who professed to love me just one year ago. I would have also expected a basic respect for the relationship we shared.

In Retrospect
In retrospect there were times in our relationship when I felt he didn’t know how to respect a woman fully.  When I felt disrespected and told him that. In that realization, I’m sad and angry. It makes me sad to realize he didn’t learn from the mistakes. Respect is not negotiable.  It was his responsibility to tell me himself that he was getting married.

What Have I Learned?
I’ve learned that there are men who simply don’t understand when they’re disrespectful to the people in their life. What I will say is that the karma of his behavior and the way he treated me will someday touch his heart. We can never make choices and hurt people without knowing that hurt and that pain ourselves at some time in the future. I’ve seen it happen, I’ve felt it happen in my own life.

Well Wishes
I wish him well, I truly do. I’ve been married. I understand the commitment of marriage. I wish the best for anyone who makes that kind of commitment in their life. For me I’m finding peace and releasing my pain. There are men who know how to completely respect women. I’ve been in relationships with men who are deeply loving and respectful. In the last two weeks since I received this news, I heard from someone I dated almost 20 years ago and his thoughtful comment about what I’d done for him, and what it meant to him was God’s way of reminding me,  there are men who actually appreciate the energy, love and kindness I bring to a relationship. That was the reminder I needed after this experience.